Not Your Average Mother's Day

As I was lying in bed on Monday night, thinking about this coming weekend I realized, I miss my nieces and nephews, my God-children, and my students. 

Mother’s Day has been a tough day for me for the past 9 years. At first, Simon and I just thought we were “lucky” that we didn’t have a honey-moon baby and were blessed with some time to get to know each other better as husband and wife. After a couple of years we began the long process of endless testing, medications, surgeries and inconclusive infertility tests. Being surrounded by sweet, loving children through my family, church and life as a teacher has helped to fill that void for a little while but at times makes the emptiness ache even worse. 

Deciding to give up a full-time teaching position so we could embark on this adoption journey was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. Don’t get me wrong, before this quarantine began I was working five part-time jobs to try to save as much money as possible for our baby. But I turned down a full-time teaching position because I couldn’t imagine leaving my classroom of students mid-year if we got the call that “our baby” had been born and was ready for us to go meet him/her at the hospital. I miss seeing a classroom full of eager learners everyday, anxious to try new things and explore the world around them. They also are good for the soul...they say the funniest things!

And now as we continue our adoption journey and approach another Mother’s day...I can’t wait to be a mom! It’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was 6 years old when I would take care of our little cousin, Jamie; fixing her bottles and changing her diaper. When she would fall asleep in my arms and people would tell me I had the "magic touch." Calling me a baby whisperer. 

I’m so grateful to be surrounded by an endless number of Godly moms that are beacons of strength, sacrifice, and unconditional love who I admire and learn from everyday, and my mom is the pinnacle of that for me! My sister, Micah, is right up there with her. They support us tremendously!

This journey comes with many sacrifices. Giving up my teaching position is only one of them. With the quarantine I’m getting to use my art education through creating a peg doll store...which will open soon! I’ve been tutoring 15+ students, and I am so grateful to the many schools that continue to offer me opportunities. I’m taking any photography jobs I can get and organizing fundraisers to help cheer people up during this difficult time while also raising money to bring baby Curtis home. But the ultimate sacrifice is going to happen when we receive the most exciting call! Somewhere there is a mother who is going to painstakingly make a decision to place her child in our lives. She is going to sacrifice her right to motherhood so we can be parents. That baby will call me mom and I will finally be a mother!